Not for Boys Brief

On to a subject that's (I could resist, but I'm so not going to) a bit more cheeky.

Real Girl never feels more girlie than when she's in a boy brief. This very moment, she's wearing the pink one by Undergirl sold here at Delias.com. It has a slender white ruffle! It says "Rock me!" It is the cutest thing since puppies! You know, if puppies were sexy.

Attention: These are not your childhood Underoos. These are low rise, waist-elongating, bum cutifying wonder panties. They have a sense of humor. They're playful. They're cotton and therefore comfier than that thong you were planning to wear tomorrow. Real Girl luvs them.

Things to avoid: Remember--after the age of two, diapers are no longer cute. They may become necessary again toward the end of your life, but still, not the look we're going for here. See the photos above for what your boy brief (also known as boy shorts in some places--probably where they call soda "pop") should look like. Waistline is low and lies straight across the hips. Tush should not be sheathed in enough fabric to mimic the Shroud of Turin. Basically, you're going for the opposite of your Christmas bonus hopes. In other words, Keep it skimpy.

Places where you can buy Boy Briefs: Target (though not, alas, online. But at the Brooklyn store, I got adorable Supergirl ones! They had Betty Boop too!), Urban Outfitters, the too cute to handle Webundies.com, also found here, these super sexy ones from Rampage, and a whole slew of others--beware! diapers included! ack!--here.

See? A whole post about boy briefs and not one crack about Michael Jackson.


Got your own fave undies style? Let us know why you love it!

xxx
Real Girl

The Face of Real Girl

Thank you thank you thank you to my best friend, Madgirl (see sidebar), for her fabulicious portrait of Real Girl. Hopefully when united, she and I are more Mad Real than we are Real Mad... Anyway, since seventh grade, I've known that Madgirl's one super talented lady, and I'm happy that now you can see it too. See? Take another look. Right? I told you!

Thank you thank you thank you also to Real Boy, who enabled Real Girl to course through the net in all her glory. (Meaning, he wrestled photoshop until the sucker got my highlights right. Because clearly, the way to Real Girl's heart is through her hair.) Pixar is working on a movie about Real Boy as we speak; he makes the Incredibles look like the Ehs. Due to his work, I can feel my little molecules coursing through your computer. All I can say is: Hee Hee! (It tickles.)

Both Madgirl and Real Boy are saints to put up with impatient little me who wants everything to look perfect and beautiful RIGHT NOW. But then again, if I didn't search for perfection and beauty...why would I be here?

With love from one Real Girl (in the flesh!!) to another.
xxxx

Real Girl's favorite word: Discount

Liz is Working (see sidebar) just said the most wonderful thing to me. I was so touched! Really, I felt tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. In fact, it's so moving, I had to share it with you right away:

FF2004

No, that's not code for "Real Girl, you're the best!" Please. Like I'd be moved to tears by my own self? Uh-uh. That code stands for 20% off.

The 20% you can save RIGHT NOW at Sephora.com (online only, alas, but still--20% off is not a phrase to be taken lightly!).

And darlings, there's no need to rush. You can use it until Sunday December 5.

Tell me what you're going to get!! I will be overwhelmed with excitement for you!

Love,
Real Girl

The Secrets of Spinach!

If RealGirlBeauty were a pop concert, this would be the moment when Real Girl takes the microphone off the stand (adjusting the cord, as they always do), pauses for a second, and then says with dramatic gravitas, "I'm going to take it down a notch, here."

No, I'm not going to play bad guitar like Madonna. No, I'm not going to forgo lipsynching so I can use my God-awful real voice for an exaggerated, emotional ballad (Whassup, Britney?). No, no. Not at all. What Real Girl's going to do is talk about...spinach.

I know. Glamorous! But why not address the "health" in health and beauty? See, I want this blog to be for you guys. And if you're anything like me, you had no idea that spinach was one of the healthiest foods you could eat. And if you're really like me, you also hate the taste (bitter much?). So maybe I can help you out there too. Let's give it a try, at least.

So. Spinach. According to my nutrition bible, "Superfoods" by Dr. Steven Pratt, "If you could develop a pill containing the significant substances in spinach, you'd have a potent weapon against cancer." More than any other food, studies have shown that spinach helps you fight cancer and heart disease. It's also really good for your eyes, preventing cataracts and macular degeneration. This powerful vegetable has all sorts of good stuff in it, including lutein, beta-carotene, omega-3 fatty acids, and a whole slew of antioxidands.

Wait. Antioxidants, you say, Real Girl? That's right. Spinach helps your body age more slowly. It helps your skin fight sun damage. It helps regenerate cells. This unassuming vegetable may just be...insert drum roll here, please...the world's ultimate beauty product!

As to preparation, I find the tastiest way to eat raw spinach is to substitute it for lettuce in all salads. I make a potently flavorful vinaigrette that's 1 part olive oil, three parts balsamic vineger, a heaping teaspoon of mustard, and a healthy pinch of each of these dried herbs: garlic powder, thyme, oregano, rosemary, and black pepper. With that mixture dousing the leafy greens, they could taste like fish food and I wouldn't notice. Or, as a side dish, I'll saute spinach leaves in olive oil with red pepper flakes, crushed garlic, or onion. Also, whenever I make pasta, I'll throw in a good amount of sauted spinach so the tomato sauce will hide the flavor. Just today, I stuck it in my cheese omelet. Really, any way you prepare it--frozen, fresh, steamed, sauted, boiled, raw--the more you eat, the healthier you are. AND the younger you look. Yay!

Who knew? Forget Dr. Atkins, or Mr. South Beach. All this time we should have been listening to...Popeye? Spinach and Olive Oyl. That sailor knew a thing or two.


Got any super spinach recipes?
Please, pass them along, from one Real Girl to another
xxx

Precious Petals

Now, girls, for a more sensitive subject. And by "sensitive," I don't mean the way your ex-boyfriend promised he felt inside. (Yeah right, buddy). Nope. What I'm talking 'bout is more like...you know...chafing.

What do you do when you can't wear a bra? Let's say you've just bought the most gorgeous low-cut, low-back halter top in light blue silk jersey (Real Girl splurged for her birthday last year). What do you do about the...er...two round spots you really didn't notice before?

Enter Petals by Fashion Forms. That's right. Stick a flesh-colored flower on them puppies.

You know those fabric-y band aids? Petals are made of a similar material. (They come in "nude" or "toffee" for gals of color.) You peel off the back, place the center padding where you'd least like to be chafed (hi there, nips!), and then press the six petals down around it. You're covered all day and night. That stick-um ain't budging. In fact, if I've got any beef with Petals, it's that the adhesive might be a bit *too* strong. Sometimes, after you peel off the glorified pasty, there's a sticky residue. Nothing soap and water can't handle, but kind of annoying.

Still, I stock up on these babies like nobody's business. Go get that adorable white halter top you've been eyeing. Or that backless number you wish had been made in a softer material. With Petals, you'll be both decent and protected.

This where I buy my Petals. You can get 6 pairs for $10, the best value I've found anywhere. Victoria's Secret sells their own brand for something like $8 for three pairs.
Click here, my lovelies!

Can't wait to hear what you think!
With love from one Real Girl to another

The best lip balm for the best value ever!

I'm going to let you in on a little-known lip balm secret. It's wondrous. I feel giddy just thinking about it. One of the best options out there--and it's SPF 15!--costs ninety-nine cents. Can you believe it!? Ninety-nine cents! That and a dollar won't even get you on the subway! But it *will* get you soft, crack-free, touchable lips.

But first... Would it surprise you to know that Real Girl regularly uses four different lip balms? Each has its merit, bien sur, but without doubt the best value lies in a little silver pot at your nearest Walgreens. That's right. Walgreens makes lip balm They call it "Cool Reflections." I call it "Heaven." First of all, it's more of a salve than a balm. It's not as thick as most lip moisturizing products, and so it glides on easily and allows for frictionless lip smacking. It just plain feels good.

There are two choices: Regular (blue top) and Medicated (green top, purports to have aloe vera, vitamin E, and tea tree oil. Can't you feel that dollar stretching?). I actually prefer the regular kind. I like the smell better--almost like cherries--and it doesn't have the minty tingle of the medicated version. Here's what I love best about this product (besides the price!): Slather it on liberally at night. Really--don't hold back. My lips look positively blue with the stuff when I get into bed. But when I wake up in the morning, even on those nights when the heat is on high and the humidifier's on the fritz, there's no cracking. My lips are baby, pillowy soft.

I must share with you one more extraordinary fact. Until recently, Cool Reflections cost two dollars. That's right. They LOWERED the price! My God! In a year, will it be fifty cents? Will they be giving it away? If they are, my friends, I will be the first in line.

O little pot of Cool Reflection
Found at Walgreen's lip balm section
You drench my lips with health and shine
Until I purr like my feline
I put you on cuticles! Even on elbows!
The limit of your power nobody knows.
You even come with a little mirror, too.
If you're ever discontinued, I don't know what I'll do!

That's right. I wrote an ode to my lip balm.
Invest the buck...and let me know what you think!

Love,
Real Girl

Herbal Essences Out; Garnier Fructis In

How clueless I was! For over a year, I fell victim to the advertisements. Orgasmic women steeped in flowers, relishing the (help me out here) Ulangalang. Even some of my favorite magazines seemed to be in raptures: "Hawafena!" they heralded. Wow!

As my hair got drier and coarser, I thought it was my fault. How careless of you, Real Girl, I told myself, to keep your hair in a pony-tail all day. Those fly-aways must be from breakages. The harsh texture must be from your highlights. It couldn't be the Hawafena! Wow!

But no. I've been blaming myself for naught all these months. My new conditioner for every day use (because there has to be another one for special occasions, doesn't there?) has left my wavy hair softer, bouncier, and all around better looking. I can't stop touching it. My hair, that is. It just feels so silky. Can you blame me for ignoring the Garnier Fructis commercials? Who got the bright idea to give Sarah Jessica Parker the ugliest yellow hair imaginable so that we'll think--oh yeah. I want to look like Big Bird too!

I would like to use my first Real Girl post to extol the virtues of Garnier Fructis Fortifying Cream Conditioner for Fine Hair. What a quality product for only about $3.50. I have long hair, so I used a lot of the product, which was more liquidy than I imagined. The minute I stepped out of the shower, bent down, and then flipped my camera-ready curls backwards, I could tell immediately: there were the spirals, bouncing away.

What a revelation.



I've got fine, wavy hair. Of course, yours may be different. I hope people will respond with any of their own experiences with Herbal Essences or Garnier Fructis. My goal is to create a community here, where we can help each other out. Who has money to waste on a beauty product that you use once, decide you don't like, and then stick in the medicine cabinet for another year because you don't want to throw out what you paid for?

That's my beef, y'all. From one Real Girl to another.