Real Girl Beauty

For every girl who's imagined herself as Lucky Magazine's "Lucky Girl." Or who's conquered her addiction to the bitchier-than-thou forums. Or who reacts every day to her Daily Candy email with the same: "Who can afford that?" Here are some heartfelt health and beauty tips from one Real Girl to another.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Real Girl Does Emmy Beauty

Ah, the Emmys. Did you see them last night? And more importantly, did you see meeee with my date Wentworth Miller? Look! Actual photographic proof! What, you say? But Real Girl has never heard of this "photoshop" you speak of. I'm not one to "Emmy and tell," but let's just say Wentworth wasn't making any kind of "prison break" when the festivities were over. Ba-DUM-dum. Thanks, I'm here all night.

I don't usually do celebrity critiques, but I felt the need to comment on some of last night's beauty dos and don'ts. Let's start with an easy one. Some people loved her purple velvet Dior by Galliano gown last night, and some people hated it. But no one can argue that her hair and makeup? Straight up Legolas. Let's compare, shall we?

I actually just saw this movie poster at the huge theater down the block from me:

Primarily, though, when it comes to red carpet beauty, I wish all celebutantes would avoid one of Real Girl's biggest pet peeves: Matching the eyeshadow with the dress. Forgive me if you're all for it, but this trend just screams '80s to me.


And one of the biggest repeat offenders is Evangeline Lily. Don't get me wrong. Last night, her dress (Versace) was beautiful, the makeup was flawless. It might have been my favorite makeup of the night if she hadn't matched the color to her gown. Was she swallowed whole by the Purple People Eater?

Also, Sandra Oh? Ohhh, way to ruin a Vera Wang. Again, some loved the over-accessorizing, some hated it. But Real Girl? Really couldn't stand the lilac eyeshadow. Which is a shame, because I usually love the way this gal looks on the carpet.

As to Jean Smart? Well...I won't go into words. You get it.

But going matchy matchy isn't Real Girl's only red carpet pet peeve. Famous Women of the World, please give up the fake tan-slash-nude lip combo. I think a smokey eye with a lightly colored lip can be just gorgeous--but not when paired with an obvious fake-o tan.


The biggest offenders last night? Another beauty--Katherine Heigl--whose dress flattered her curves, but whose beigey-beige makeup ruined the look for me. Emmy_jaime_pressly_2
And also Jaime Pressly, whose jaw and lips need some softening--and the fake tanner/nude lip combo just ain't getting the job done. In both cases, the blondness of the hair clashing with the orangeness of the tan makes the look that much worse.

Now, on to the hosts of my two favorite reality programs: America's Next Top Model and Project Runway. Tyra Banks? Real Girl loves you. Really! Emmy_tara_wax
But last night, you were America's Next Top Drag Queen Wax Statue.

Heidi Klum, however? Perfection. The hair, the dress (not Michael Kors's usual style, so kudos to him for reaching outside his comfort zone to produce this beauty), and the makeup all worked flawlessly.


To you, Heidi, we do not have to say: auf wiedersehen.

Which brings me to my last Emmys pic, one I had to comment on only because...good lord, woman. Those! So...round and perky! So...unlike anything Real Girl will ever have hanging from her Real torso. Emmy_virginia_madsen_boobs_1
Her makeup I could live without, but kudos to Virginia Madsen's tatas.

But what about you guys!? What stood out for you on the red carpet? Anything goes, dresses, makeup, hair, shoes, bags, and of course, tatas!