Real Girl Beauty

For every girl who's imagined herself as Lucky Magazine's "Lucky Girl." Or who's conquered her addiction to the bitchier-than-thou forums. Or who reacts every day to her Daily Candy email with the same: "Who can afford that?" Here are some heartfelt health and beauty tips from one Real Girl to another.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


(Fyi, this pic came out way too dark and yellow. But that be the least of my problems.)

There is a word that should not exist in BeautyLand. If I were the Queen of BeautyLand, I would banish anyone who said this word. Immediately! Without trial, hearing, or groveling allowed. That word? Do I really have to say it?


Do you know what it's like to find out that your favorite blushy bronzer has been discontinued? The one that gives your face a healthy (meaning not with the sun damage), subtle, shimmery glow? It's like going to the video store for your favorite movie ever only to find that it's not on the shelves and it's never coming back, you sucker. It's like going to the ice cream section for your most favorite, mouthwatering flavor, only to find that you will never taste that flavor again. It's crushing. I'm crushed. Still bronzed and glowy. But crushed.

Today, I started gathering all the information I would need to write about my special bronzy. My own special bronzy. My precccioussss: The Body Shop Shimmer Waves Palette in Bronze. Except...there was no information to be found. No listing on the Body Shop's website. I will not lie. Panic began to build. I willed myself to be calm. Except, a few minutes later--as the two lovely ladies who were present could tell you--I was no longer calm. On the phone with several different Body Shops in Manhattan, you could hear my voice rising with despair. My product was seasonal. SEASONAL. Well, why the f*ck didn't you tell me that when I bought the thing? You knew, Body Shop People! Back then, when the Shimmer Waves was happily nestled in my green Body Shop bag? You knew. And you said nothing.

Ok. Breathe. All hope is not lost. Firstly, some Body Shop locations still have the product. Although, so far not in my Bronze, but in the other--also nice--color, Rose. And here's the other thing. I only got the Body Shop Shimmer Waves to begin with because it was a cheaper version (less than half the price!) of what I really wanted, which was the
Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick, in pink. Although the beige be pretty too. The only problem? $35!! Oy!

But here's why I like the product so much: It doubles as eye shadow. Every day, I use the darkest brown gently rubbed in the crease of my eyelid. Boy, do my eyes look more open. And at night, the other colors flirt around with the brown, making my eyelids look sophisticated and natural.

More importantly, though? When I wear this blend of color on my face, it doesn't look like I'm wearing blush. Because Real Girl will confess here to a serious pet peeve. I will call it 80's Blush Disaster. You know exactly what I mean. (Pat, baby, I love you. I do not love those gashes on your cheeks.):

So. I don't know if it's the way the colors blend on the brush, or how you can modulate the shade, but I LOVE the way the palatte works. Procedure: 1) Smile. 2) Draw your blush brush over the whole palatte, and then across the apples of those adorable cheeks. 3) Sweep the extra down your nose, across the very top of the forehead, and at the base of the chin. 4) If you've used too much--blot with a square of toilet paper. The biggest compliment I get is that I don't look like I wear much make-up.

To which I say--HA!

Anyone else want to yell at the evil DISCONTINUERS who took away your fave products? Got another blush or bronzer that we all need to know about? Your own splendid procedure for application?

You know I love ya!
Real Girl