Real Girl Beauty

For every girl who's imagined herself as Lucky Magazine's "Lucky Girl." Or who's conquered her addiction to the bitchier-than-thou forums. Or who reacts every day to her Daily Candy email with the same: "Who can afford that?" Here are some heartfelt health and beauty tips from one Real Girl to another.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Announcementy Shmannouncementy

So, here's the thing. Lots of you (and by the way? there are actually lots of you) have been asking for the results of the Great Skin Care Experiment. What will Real Girl's ultimate skin care regimen be? Oh, it's getting good, I can tell you that. And I'll give you a few hints at the end, after the Shmannouncementy.

But guess what? Whenever Real Girl tries to get a moisturizer sample--(because skin care, alas, ain't like mascara where you can try it just once and see what's up with that bad boy)--Real Girl's conversations go something like this.

Real Girl: Hi! I sure hope you're having a great day!

PR Person or Other Type Company Representative: Yes, Crazy Cheery Lady?

Real Girl: See, I've got this Beauty Blog, and I write about products. And then people comment on them. And then we all help each other out and wind up drenched in fabulousness!

PRPoOTCR: How nice for you.

Real Girl: Erm...yeah! Thanks! So...the thing is...I want to try your product! Isn't that cool? Your product sure looks swell. Then, if it works for me, I'll write all about how very much I love it! People will read that! They'll say, hey, Real Girl loves this product. I'm sure glad she got a sample to try!

PRPoOTCR: So how many hits do you get?

Real Girl: Oh, no! People don't hit Real Girl! She's very nice and rarely misbehaves. Sometimes Real Cat gives her a scratch. But he doesn't mean to.

PRPoOTCR: (Sigh) How many people read your site?

Real Girl: More than I thought! Isn't that neat? Like, it's not just my Mom and my friends. I promise! Because I get all these emails from readers asking me questions. They're nice. You'd like them.

PRPoOTCR: (Sighy Sigh) Do you have an actual number?

Real Girl: Can I make it up?

PRPoOTCR: (Sighy Sigh Sigh) If you'll excuse me, I have pepole with Actual Numbers to talk to. They are very important. They can count.

Real Girl: Oh. Okay. Erm...thanks for your time. And have a great day!!

PRPoOTCR: (Sighy Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh) *Click*

Now, I've noticed on other people's blogs that there is this swirly, colorful little box that says "Site Meter" somewhere toward the bottom of their page. Hmmm, I've thought. Kinda creepy, that. Are people spying on me? Do they know how often I check out their websites while procrastinating? Big Brother? Are you out there? Are you cute?

But you know what? It's pretty par for the course. Knowing how many hits you get (virtual ones, I mean, which is good, because I'd totally hit back) is kind of normal. And helpful. As in, it might get me samples. So I've registered with Site Meter, and once I figure out how to HTMLy it into my template, I'll have one of those swirly wee boxes. It doesn't mean I'm spying on you! I really, really promise!! It just means that the darn PRPoOCR can finally stop all that sighing.

Because really, that can't be good for frown lines, now, can it?

As for a clue into the Great Skin Care Experiment, here is what I'm looking for:

1) Day moisturizer: Must have exciting antioxidants like Vitamins C or E, White Tea, Green Tea, Alphalipoic Acid, Coenzyme Q10, Grapeseed Oil, Pomegranate, or something I've never heard of but rocks. These antioxidants will fight free radicals and combat the sources of skin abuse. Also? Don't make me break-out, sucker. I mean that.

2) Night moisturizer: Must have peptides and/or retinoids to combat whatever fine lines have already squiggled their way in there. And no, I don't care if I'm the only one who sees them. Do you know how bright my bathroom light is? You can't hide in there! Oh, and also? Don't make me break out, you sucky sucker.

More to come...Especially since the Big, Wondrous Book has already shipped! It's over 1,300 pages! I mean...hello?...whoah!

With love,
From one Real Girl to another.