Real Girl Beauty

For every girl who's imagined herself as Lucky Magazine's "Lucky Girl." Or who's conquered her addiction to the bitchier-than-thou forums. Or who reacts every day to her Daily Candy email with the same: "Who can afford that?" Here are some heartfelt health and beauty tips from one Real Girl to another.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

The Debut of Real Girl's "What Not to Do."

Sometimes it takes a make-up blunder to teach the world a thing or two. As you will see in future "What not to do" segments, these faux pas can be subtle or blatant. But for the first, I've chosen something in between--what might be called an "unfortunate choice" rather than a "nuclear disaster."

In honor of last week's Apprentice finale, I present to you fallen Apprentice candidate Jennifer Crisafulli, aka "Jenn C."

If Jenn C. were my make-up artist, you know what I'd have to say to her? All together now: "You're fi-yud."

First lesson to be learned from Jenn C.: Unless you're a mime, your face should not be three shades paler than your body. (Although, she seems to be wordlessly mimicking a call girl, so if she is in fact a mime, I apologize.) Get thee to a make-up counter quick, Jenn C., and this time try the foundation on your face before you buy it. Some people sample shades on the inside of their wrist, which is said to be most like the facial tone. Real Girl doesn't buy it. Remember always that your face rests on your neck--and if one is a different shade than the other, you will look like you're wearing a mask. Great for Japanese theater, not so great for being photographed on a red carpet.

Also, Jenn C., are you trying to channel the essence of 1959 Barbie?

Because if that's your goal, then I've got to respect that. But look. Even Barbie's eyebrows make it to the outside corners of her eyes. I know you're using pencil instead of Brow Zings, but even so...just try and extend that outside browline a quarter inch more, and I promise you you'll look less like the person in front of you has made you permanently surprised.

One more thought, Jenn C. You've got such dark brown eyes, that your thick black eyeliner makes them, too, look black. Which is fine. But you might try a less severe alternative: Dip a shadow lining brush (stiff angled head) into a pot of dark brown eyeshadow, then press it against the area right where your lashes begin (keep that line thin, Jenn C. Thin! Think...the hair texture The Donald thinks he's hiding). Above that, on your lid, brush on a lighter, but still warm shade of brown, and above that, add an even lighter, almost taupe or beige shade. Be sure to smudge a bit of the darkest shadow into the edge of the lid crease to open up the eye. The brown tones will accentuate the deep warmth of your eyes, which is now being eclipsed.

So, hopefully Real Girl has given Jenn C. some tips for the next time she hits the red carpet. (Ha! I so just made myself laugh). Ok, for the next time she hits...Taco Bell, or the dry cleaners, or...Unemployment.

Real Girl